Things to Change/Surprises Encountered/New Learning

My biggest regret is that I couldn't tackle more issues while in Amman. One the flight there, I was reading a book entitled, Murder in the Name of Honour, which touched me profoundly. I wish that I had had more time in Jordan, to meet the key people who are trying to prevent honor killings in Jordan, which still occur, based on Islamic law and country penal codes.  If I had known more about the problem, I would have done more in this area, and I regretted that I was not able to, and did not know enough about it before going. But it was good, that I was made more aware of it shortly before the trip, and during the trip. I also briefly got to speak with journalist Rana Husseini, who is at the forefront of this issue, and using journalism, and telling the stories of these women's lives, who are murdered by family members for what they "deem" good reasoning, and to "cleanse" the family name. I wanted to jump in, and help her, and help do what I could to change the Jordanian laws, that would protect these women, victims, rather, than the way it is now, where the law protects their murderers (family members). How can anyone hear about women being murdered by family members to cleanse a family name, usually brutally, and go about their life, and not be affected by such a travesty?!  Although, it has been estimated that there are 50,000 Syrian and Iraqi women who are trafficked into Jordan, human rights organizations locally have been working on the issue. One of the human rights lawyers who is working on this, attended my human trafficking presentation at the BPWA, and she spoke of the efforts to curb this that have been advancing, and it is an issue, and one that needs to be addressed and dealt with, but I found my heart pulled, and somehow saying, no one is helping us Tiffany, as I read the stories of the women who had almost been murdered or who were murdered by family members in Jordan, in the pages of Rana Husseini's book.

Honor killing is a murder, conducted by a family member (usually male) to punish a female family member who has supposedly brought dishonor on the family. The acts which are considered dishonoring include:

• arranged marriage refusal
• being the victim of a sexual assault or rape
• seeking a divorce, even is the husband is abusive 
• adultery or fornication
• pre-marital sex
• flirting
• anything deemed unacceptable by the male family member

Acid attacks can also be used on the women, or a family member can insist that the women perform an honor suicide, where guilt is put upon her, to kill herself, so that a family member avoids any prosecution, to make it appear that the woman freely wanted to kill herself.

Even writing about this issue now, as a reflection on my trip, my heart feels a deep regret for coming to Jordan, and not having done anything to help with this issue. It truly breaks my heart. I feel their pain, their sadness, the feeling of betrayal that these women must have felt before their deaths, by the hands of a male family member, a brother, a father, and the sense of aloneness they must have felt.  Once I start my social enterprise, and it is stable, I plan to do as much work fighting against "honour killings" as I can in the Middle East. Its this unspoken criminal act that is occurring continuously, and not much progress has been made to stop it, as brick walls are continually encountered by the few who are trying to stop it.   I would change this about the trip, and make sure that I could setup a meeting ahead of time with Rana Husseini, and the key people trying to stop this atrocity. The royal family in Joran, has condemned honor killings but the government will not repeal laws that are lenient towards family murderers, for fear of making Islamic conservatives upset. The powerful Islamic Action Front party, has stated that any proposal to introduce harsh laws against honor killings would disturb family values and would strip men of their humanity. They have also stated that declared that honor killing is an Islamic duty and support it as they state that Mohammad advocated stoning for adultery.  Video: Rana Husseini: Murder in the Name of Honor.


One tragic story: 

A 12-year old Jordanian girl returned home one evening from a walk with some friends. She was confronted by her enraged father who was shouting that she had dishonoured the entire family. He began beating his daughter with sticks and iron chains until she died. He told the police that he killed his only daughter because she went for a walk without his permission.  This survivor of an attempted honor killing, to the right survived, but so many don't. 

The fear that women must live in never knowing if they will be a victim of this, must be prevalent throughout the Middle East. It will take a grassroots, groundswell, internationally to apply pressure to put a stop to it I believe.

This 17 year old from Mosul, was tortured for two hours, by a mob stoning, leading up to her death, after she eloped with a Muslim man, as she was apart of a community that was not Muslim.  (Source: http://www.menassat.com/?q=en/news-articles/2161-honor-killing-sparks-fears-new-iraqi-conflict)









I would also do work in the area of animal rights in Amman. I had no idea of the extent of stray cats, without homes in Jordan. They seem to be on every street, roaming, looking for food, doubtfully spayed or neutered, producing more and more stray cats, and I even saw one cat limping, something must have injured its leg, and I thought, how is this poor thing even getting around, obtaining food water, and how long has it been limping.  No one appeared to be concerned about the stray cats, or if they had food or water. I tried to keep my eyes open for an animal welfare shelter, or some sort of humane society location, but I saw nothing while in Jordan, and according to Islamic law, from what I understand dogs are looked upon as dirty, so I just imagined that stray cats must be viewed in the same way. My roommate did tell me that she knew of someone who took in stray cats and helping take care of them, but this seemed very rare. My hope was that a large American or European animal rescue organization, such as the Humane Society, or ASPCA could have a branch in Amman, to house these poor, sweet creatures. They always seemed scared when coming into close contact with them, and many if not all must be feral, but this was another cause that I would have loved to have helped with if I had known that this was such a huge issue before coming to Jordan. So I would have to say that my biggest regret or the things I would change, would be to work on more issues that touched me, if I had known before arriving, and to have planned to include these issues, along with educating on pornography & human trafficking while in Jordan.


Honestly, I was surprised at the candidness of some of the topics that were brought up in my conversations when meeting new people. During a visit to a friend's family's house, and uncle in the family, after meeting him, immediately started asking me about American politics, and stating that America went into Iraq to obtain oil, and started to state derogatory things about George W. Bush. This was difficult, as I wasn't expecting such candidness, but the Middle Eastern culture, I learned has political conversations candidly like this during social gatherings, as part of the culture, and is normal during get-togethers. Honestly, I was offended at first, that I would be accused, or that my country would, of being in a war, where thousands of our own soldiers were killed, just to obtain oil. This did make me mad, but I chose the path, to let this individual speak his mind, and I listened, and wasn't as argumentative as I normally would be or defensive, as I was a guest in someone's home and in another country, and thinking back during this reflection, I would have voiced my feelings more, and wanted to express more facts to this individual, so that he would at least hear a different perspective from someone from that country, who put elected officials in place via voting, and having family members that served in the U.S. military, to express that American soldiers, mostly, although, there are corrupt individuals in all countries, but these soldiers put their lives on the line and in great jeopardy to free a country from a dictator, and one who treated women horribly, and whose human rights record was an atrocity, and it disturbed me that there are some who view American actions not as liberating the people who feared a dictator, but that we would enter a country to obtain oil, when we have oil here, and when there are other countries that we could buy oil from and with whom we have great relations with.  I regretted that I wasn't true to my feelings, and didn't speak up as much as I should have for the liberating of Iraq & Afghanistan, and again I realize that something like this could never go perfectly, and something like this, a plan to liberate another country will always have faults, but I would also speak my mind if I could do it over, and express the true heart of the American people, that we have a heart to help the world, that is why we spend billions in doing so, not only through our government, but out of our own pockets through charities and donating to non-profits, but I was surprised and disappointed that some people did not appreciate what was done, for what was meant as a  good intention for the betterment of lives in those countries. 

My experience in Jordan, was terrific. I learned many new things as I have mentioned about new issues that have touched me, and that I will try to do more about in the future, and the surprising views and candidness of some, and the things that I hope to help some local people change, but the Jordanian people are very friendly, and I were gracious hosts to an American girl who came to talk to them about pornography and human trafficking, and I am grateful that this topic angered them as much as it does me, it was quite refreshing to be around so many who view it the same way I do.